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bedtimestories:fjerthunter

FJERTHUNTER - THE BEGINNING

<dubsman> come out with your fjerts where we can see them Byakuya
<dubsman> no need for anyturd to get hurt
<Byakuya> O-okay dubsman
<Byakuya> I'm putting my fjerts down on the ground
<dubsman> slowly
<dubsman> SLOWLY
<Byakuya> I repeat, I'm putting my fjerts down on the ground
<dubsman> the fjert game is over Byakuya
* Byakuya puts fjerts slowly on the ground
<dubsman> it doesn't have to end this way
<Byakuya> ;___; 
<dubsman> you're making the right decision
<Hammen> you are making new bike lanes often too
<dubsman> and apparently thtat
<dubsman> idk shut up officer Hammen we're not in need of your banter right now
<Byakuya> Officer, am I under arrest?
<psycho_> I ain't do nuffin
<psycho_> I ain't got no fjerts
<psycho_> fuck u
<dubsman> sir just calm down
<Byakuya> What is fjerts
<Hammen> thats what slim
<dubsman> we're just crossing our t's and dotting our i's
<dubsman> if you've got nothing on you then this should be over soon
<Byakuya> Do I look like a turd-colored man to you
<Hammen> serious people look past the fucking server and port you banana
<psycho_> no, I refuse to comply because this offends my malformed interpretation of our constitution
<psycho_> fuck u bitch
<dubsman> sir please let's not make this into a racial issue
<dubsman> now have you consumed any fjerts recently
<dubsman> touched any turds?
<psycho_> i ain't do nuffin
<dubsman> sir please just answer the questions
<dubsman> i'm just trying to do my job here alrighT?
<Hammen> m a o
<dubsman> officer Hammen stay out of it
<dubsman> we'll call you if you're needed
<Byakuya> No, officer. I deny making love to turds and inhaling any fjerts
<Hammen> police officer at our house is older than you think
* psycho_ bolts it with Byakuya's fjert
<dubsman> lmwat
<dubsman> STOP HIM
<dubsman> I HAVE A 10-fjert I repeat a 10-fjert
<dubsman> we have a fjerted suspect headed south
* psycho_ inhales fjert deeply
<dubsman> suspect may be turded and dangerous
<Hammen> is dangerous as fuck synny
<dubsman> yea u better stay the fuck away Synny
<psycho_> ;]
* dubsman pursues the traces of fjerts
* dubsman sniffs
<dubsman> it's still fresh
<dubsman> he must've been here recently
<dubsman> i know you're here psycho_
<dubsman> i know you're scared
<Hammen> im scared as fuk
<dubsman> your buddy Byakuya is safe
<dubsman> this doesn't have to go down this way
<dubsman> just drop the fjerts and come with us
<dubsman> goddamnit officer Hammen why are you still here
<psycho_> NO
<dubsman> come on man
<dubsman> i used to be like you
<dubsman> rolling high on fjerts
<dubsman> owning all the turds on the block
<dubsman> but there's more to life man
<Hammen> just block all tells
<dubsman> officer Hammen this is the last fucking time i swear this is a negotiation and nobody needs your shit right now
<psycho_> no I live for fjert
<psycho_> man
<dubsman> what about your brother man
<dubsman> he died from fjerts
<dubsman> do you want the same to happen to you?
<Synny> I love cjert
<Synny> Fjert
<dubsman> ah i see our hostage negotiator has arrived
<psycho_> yes dubsman, I do not wish to live in a world where fjert is illegal
<dubsman> then you owe it to yourself to surrender psycho_
<dubsman> you can fight for your rights to fjerts
<dubsman> instead of taking the easy way out
<dubsman> you can tell those bureaucrats in washington what the deal exactly is with fjerts
<Hammen> deal with it
<dubsman> and how they can be consumed safely
<dubsman> but only if you comply
* psycho_ blows head off
<dubsman> =[
<dubsman> video fades to black
<dubsman> voiceover
<dubsman> life's hard in a town like this
<dubsman> images of pedestrians, city life in general
<dubsman> young kids, being deluded by the image of fjerts they see everywhere
<psycho_> [[black woman yelling in the background]]
<dubsman> [[arial shots of streets by night]]
<dubsman> it ain't easy being a turdhunter
<dubsman> but i try to do right
<dubsman> maybe one day, society will recognise the value fjerts bring to our lives
<dubsman> but until that day
<dubsman> i must fulfill my duty
<dubsman> THE FJERT HUNTER
<dubsman> coming to a cinema near you this summer
<dubsman> R rated for turd-matic content

Thus dubsman created a legend that will continue to live long after he has released his last F J E R T.

bedtimestories/fjerthunter.txt · Last modified: 2016/12/11 03:07:36 by wazakindjes