====== FJERTHUNTER - THE BEGINNING ======

  <dubsman> come out with your fjerts where we can see them Byakuya
  <dubsman> no need for anyturd to get hurt
  <Byakuya> O-okay dubsman
  <Byakuya> I'm putting my fjerts down on the ground
  <dubsman> slowly
  <dubsman> SLOWLY
  <Byakuya> I repeat, I'm putting my fjerts down on the ground
  <dubsman> the fjert game is over Byakuya
  * Byakuya puts fjerts slowly on the ground
  <dubsman> it doesn't have to end this way
  <Byakuya> ;___; 
  <dubsman> you're making the right decision
  <Hammen> you are making new bike lanes often too
  <dubsman> and apparently thtat
  <dubsman> idk shut up officer Hammen we're not in need of your banter right now
  <Byakuya> Officer, am I under arrest?
  <psycho_> I ain't do nuffin
  <psycho_> I ain't got no fjerts
  <psycho_> fuck u
  <dubsman> sir just calm down
  <Byakuya> What is fjerts
  <Hammen> thats what slim
  <dubsman> we're just crossing our t's and dotting our i's
  <dubsman> if you've got nothing on you then this should be over soon
  <Byakuya> Do I look like a turd-colored man to you
  <Hammen> serious people look past the fucking server and port you banana
  <psycho_> no, I refuse to comply because this offends my malformed interpretation of our constitution
  <psycho_> fuck u bitch
  <dubsman> sir please let's not make this into a racial issue
  <dubsman> now have you consumed any fjerts recently
  <dubsman> touched any turds?
  <psycho_> i ain't do nuffin
  <dubsman> sir please just answer the questions
  <dubsman> i'm just trying to do my job here alrighT?
  <Hammen> m a o
  <dubsman> officer Hammen stay out of it
  <dubsman> we'll call you if you're needed
  <Byakuya> No, officer. I deny making love to turds and inhaling any fjerts
  <Hammen> police officer at our house is older than you think
  * psycho_ bolts it with Byakuya's fjert
  <dubsman> lmwat
  <dubsman> STOP HIM
  <dubsman> I HAVE A 10-fjert I repeat a 10-fjert
  <dubsman> we have a fjerted suspect headed south
  * psycho_ inhales fjert deeply
  <dubsman> suspect may be turded and dangerous
  <Hammen> is dangerous as fuck synny
  <dubsman> yea u better stay the fuck away Synny
  <psycho_> ;]
  * dubsman pursues the traces of fjerts
  * dubsman sniffs
  <dubsman> it's still fresh
  <dubsman> he must've been here recently
  <dubsman> i know you're here psycho_
  <dubsman> i know you're scared
  <Hammen> im scared as fuk
  <dubsman> your buddy Byakuya is safe
  <dubsman> this doesn't have to go down this way
  <dubsman> just drop the fjerts and come with us
  <dubsman> goddamnit officer Hammen why are you still here
  <psycho_> NO
  <dubsman> come on man
  <dubsman> i used to be like you
  <dubsman> rolling high on fjerts
  <dubsman> owning all the turds on the block
  <dubsman> but there's more to life man
  <Hammen> just block all tells
  <dubsman> officer Hammen this is the last fucking time i swear this is a negotiation and nobody needs your shit right now
  <psycho_> no I live for fjert
  <psycho_> man
  <dubsman> what about your brother man
  <dubsman> he died from fjerts
  <dubsman> do you want the same to happen to you?
  <Synny> I love cjert
  <Synny> Fjert
  <dubsman> ah i see our hostage negotiator has arrived
  <psycho_> yes dubsman, I do not wish to live in a world where fjert is illegal
  <dubsman> then you owe it to yourself to surrender psycho_
  <dubsman> you can fight for your rights to fjerts
  <dubsman> instead of taking the easy way out
  <dubsman> you can tell those bureaucrats in washington what the deal exactly is with fjerts
  <Hammen> deal with it
  <dubsman> and how they can be consumed safely
  <dubsman> but only if you comply
  * psycho_ blows head off
  <dubsman> =[
  <dubsman> video fades to black
  <dubsman> voiceover
  <dubsman> life's hard in a town like this
  <dubsman> images of pedestrians, city life in general
  <dubsman> young kids, being deluded by the image of fjerts they see everywhere
  <psycho_> [[black woman yelling in the background]]
  <dubsman> [[arial shots of streets by night]]
  <dubsman> it ain't easy being a turdhunter
  <dubsman> but i try to do right
  <dubsman> maybe one day, society will recognise the value fjerts bring to our lives
  <dubsman> but until that day
  <dubsman> i must fulfill my duty
  <dubsman> THE FJERT HUNTER
  <dubsman> coming to a cinema near you this summer
  <dubsman> R rated for turd-matic content

Thus dubsman created a legend that will continue to live long after he has released his last F J E R T.